Does a man have to ask his wife for permission to observe a voluntary fast as is required of her?

 

ubra
(3/144): 

After the duties she owes
to Allaah and His Messenger, no right is more binding on a woman than the
rights of her husband. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I
would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands, because of the
greatness of the rights that he (the husband) has over her.” 

End quote. 

2 – The husband is usually the one who initiates intercourse,
and the woman is the one who is sought. So usually it is he who pursues her,
so it is appropriate that she should ask his permission before observing a
naafil fast, because he may want to have intercourse with her. 

3 – Men’s desire is greater than women’s, hence it is
permissible for a man to marry up to four wives. This does not apply in the
case of women. Hence men are less able to be patient in refraining from
intercourse than women are. This is why women are required to ask permission
to fast, and it is why a strong warning is issued to women not to refuse
intercourse when their husbands call them. 

The context of the hadeeth supports this reason. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade women to observe
voluntary fasts without permission when a woman’s husband complained about
her and said that he wanted to have intercourse with her, but she fasted a
great deal and his rights were not being fulfilled. 

It was narrated that Abu Sa’eed (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: A woman came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) when we were with him, and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, my
husband, Safwaan ibn al-Mu’attal, hits me when I pray and he makes me break
my fast when I am fasting, and he does not pray Fajr until the sun is
rising.” Safwaan was with him, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) asked him about what she had said. He said: “O Messenger
of Allaah, as for saying that I hit her when she prays, she recites two
soorahs and I told her not to.” He said: “If it is one soorah, that is
sufficient for people.” He said: “As for her saying that I make her break
her fast, she goes ahead and fasts, and I am a young man and I cannot be
patient.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said on that day: “No woman should fast except with her husband’s
permission.” “As for her saying that I do not pray until the sun is rising,
we are a household who are used to that, and we cannot wake up until the sun
is rising.” He said: “When you wake up, then pray.” 

Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2459. 

Classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan, 4/354; al-Haafiz ibn Hajar
in al-Isaabah, 3/441; al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 7/65 

Shaykh Muhammad al-Saalih
al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

One of his rights over her is that she should not do anything
that detracts from his right to complete enjoyment of her, even if that is a
voluntary act of worship, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a woman to fast when
her husband is present except with his permission, or to allow anyone into
his house without his permission.” 

Huqooq da’at ilayha al-Fitrah wa Qararat-ha al-Shar’iyyah,
p. 12 

It is not permissible for a woman to observe a voluntary fast
when her husband is present except with his permission, because he has the
right to intimacy and intercourse with her. If she fasts and denies him his
rights, it is not permissible for her to do that, and her naafil fast is not
valid unless she does it with his permission. 

Al-Muntaqa min Fataawa al-Shaykh al-Fawzaan,
4/73, 74 

4 – Fulfilling the
husband’s rights, raking care of the house and raising the children are all
duties of the wife. The husband may think that there is a conflict between
these duties and observing naafil fasts. It is well known that women – and
some men –when they fast, become tired and neglect their household duties,
hence it is required for them to seek permission to observe naafil fasts,
but not obligatory fasts. 

5 – The husband usually goes out to work and earns a living,
unlike the wife whose work is in the home. It is not prescribed for the
husband to ask permission because there is no need for that, unlike the
woman who has to ask permission. 

Whatever the case, the commands and prohibitions of sharee’ah
are all wise, and the Muslim must say “We hear and we obey.” The basic
principle is that rulings apply equally to both men and women except in
cases where Allaah has differentiated between them for a reason that has to
do with the nature of women or to test people so that the sincere believer
may be distinguished from other people. 

And Allaah knows best.